Greystone Park - A Ghost Story Without a Story
Snagged this out of a $3 bin, and oh boy. This one is a bit of a mess. I can usually find some sort of enjoyment in paranormal horror movies, but this one was tough. I don't need a lot of substance to snack on but when there's none, even I can't get invested.
Found footage horror is a really big hit or miss for me, and for most of us in general. VHS? Love it. This one? Didn't hit any of the points that help make FF movies enjoyable. Whenever I turn on a FF movie, I really, really want to like it. It can be an affordable way for people to get their ideas out there and sometimes a damn good film in the process.
The Good:
- The building was super cool. Enjoyed the feel of exploring the asylum with them.
- At one point my cat was looking down the pitch black hallway at something and between that and the movie, it made me run to turn on the lights for a moment.
-Enjoyed the idea presented that the tortured patients ended up losing fragments of their souls that became demons. Definitely an interesting concept that felt new.
The Yuck:
- Feels absolutely pointless. Super unsure of why exactly they're going there aside from spooking themselves. There's no story or anything. None of the actors seem to have any personal chemistry.
- Ineffective jump scares over and over. Even someone like me needs a lil more than that.
- The ghost texts. I don't think asylum patients from the past are going to be sending ominous texts. But then there seems to be a weird satanic culture angle that never really comes to fruition?
- Bombastic side eye at the ease at which they busted into this place. In real life, I can tell you it would absolutely be under strict lock down or exploited for $1000 per night for paranormal investigators.
- Citronella or whatever the girl's name is. Her performance was a little flat for me.
- Had moments when it felt like it was trying to be like Grave Encounters which had come out the year before.
- The ending. WHY IS THIS GUY DRESSED LIKE A 50s DETECTIVE?? When I tell you I busted out laughing...
Probably would get a single bone if it wasn't for the cool building.
2/5 bones.
